From as long as I can remember, I have always been a kind girl. I treated everyone well, but I never had many close friends. Connecting with others was not easy for me, and sometimes I couldn’t even say “no” to people. Despite this, I always tried to connect with others, even when some of those relationships didn’t make me feel good.
During my first years of school, studying wasn’t as easy for me as I wanted it to be. I usually ranked second or third in my class. To be honest, this really bothered me. I would always look at the top student in the class and ask myself, “Why not me?”
This very thought drove me to work harder. I wanted to prove myself and be number one someday. Finally, I achieved what I wanted, and after the third grade, I was always the top student in the class.
But as I grew older, it wasn’t just my studies that changed; I also gradually began to understand people and their behaviors better. Some of the people who befriended me wanted me to do their homework or help them during exams. I wasn’t happy about this, but over time, I learned to recognize relationships and people better, and alongside that, I continued on my own path.
At that time, I had a clear dream. I wanted to study very hard and become a doctor in the future; even more than that, I dreamed of becoming a surgeon. I thought that if I worked hard, I could achieve it.
But life doesn’t always go according to our plans.
A sudden event changed my educational path. Educational centers were closed, and continuing education was no longer possible like before. Something that used to be just a normal part of life for me suddenly became something I had to fight to achieve. The future I had previously imagined for myself looked very dark for a while.
But I didn’t want to give up.
I started searching for online classes. Of course, this wasn’t easy for me either. I didn’t have a good internet connection, I wasn’t familiar with the online education system, and I didn’t even know which classes were trustworthy. But with the help of one of my friends, I discovered Learn Afghan and was able to continue my education through it. Alongside that, I participated in other online classes to enhance my skills.
During that time, my family’s financial situation wasn’t easy either. To buy internet packages, I sometimes had to ask my maternal uncle for help. This wasn’t easy for me because I always wanted to be able to handle my own needs, and I felt like I couldn’t help my family the way I wanted to yet.
But still, I decided not to give up learning.
Under those very circumstances, I started teaching elementary-level English. Becoming a teacher wasn’t my ultimate goal; it was more of a temporary way to gain experience, improve my skills, and at least cover my own internet costs. This experience showed me that even when conditions are not to my liking, I can still find a way to move forward.
After that, I continued learning new things and entered the world of coding. I started with HTML and CSS, and gradually got to know other skills and fields as well.
Today, I still can’t say exactly what I will become in the future. Maybe the path I choose today won’t be my final one. And now, I no longer think that’s a bad thing.
I want to experience different things, learn, know myself better, and ultimately choose a path where I can truly perform well and grow.
When I look back, I see that my life has been full of detours. From a girl who always wanted to be the top student in class, to a girl who dreamed of becoming a surgeon, then a girl who turned to online education to continue her studies, became a teacher for a while, and is now learning how to code.
Maybe there are still many things I don’t know, and maybe my skills aren’t as strong as I want them to be yet. But I know one thing about myself:
I am still keeping at it.
Perhaps the most important part of my story isn’t where I have arrived; rather, it is that every time my path changed, I found a way to learn all over again.
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